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Find a Need, Fill a Need Program

72 hour hold : 5150 is the number of the section of the Welfare and Institutions Code, which allows a person with a mental illness to be involuntarily detained for a 72-hour psychiatric hospitalization. A person on a 5150 can be held in the psychiatric hospital against their will for up to 72 hours.

14 day holds: If your doctor places you on a 14 day hold, it is because he/she believes that you continue to be either a danger to yourself, a danger to others, gravely disabled or some combination of these reasons. It is called a 14 day hold because you may continue to be hospitalized involuntarily for up to 14 more days.

My daughter spent her five nights in the bed of an emergency room. I drove away as she was crying and could barely breathe from her resulting panic attack. You see, my dogs were out of food and I'm pretty certain they think they've been abandoned by their formerly ever-present family; I awoke to a full, cold bathtub with the drain valve wide open; laundry was piled up and fairly smelly five days ago yet still ignored; the box of gifts that arrived on Thursday still sitting in the exact same spot on my floor, just slightly now chewed on its edges.

I cannot keep stating the mantra “our mental health system is broken.” I am part of the problem not the solution when I say those words into the universe. I found myself during my coffee run on day four of suicide-watch-sitting answering, in response to “how's your day going?” saying “my daughter is in the hospital so....” to receive an “I'm sorry. Hope she's feeling better soon,” somewhat sincerely. There was a new barista taking far too long to prepare my uncomplicated order, so the friendly guy asked if I'd like free cookies for my ailing daughter. He reiterated that he wishes her well. I state my thanks as I find myself unapologetically saying, “well she's mentally ill and there's no real help for her. This has become our routine.” The lobby fell silent and awkward.

As I left, I felt empowered, though. We so easily mention broken limbs, diabetic emergencies, stitches needed without this silent stigma filling a room. Why can I not, without feeling like I said a bad word in public, speak honestly about my daughter's illness? Why does this make people uncomfortable? This. This is the problem.

My daughter is so eloquently and accurately able to describe her co-morbid conditions, with insightful answers and specific challenges that they don't understand how such an intelligent, well-spoken young woman could suffer from the symptoms she describes. They question us. They mention therapies we’ve already tried, well that she's mastered. They offer, frankly insulting, tips and tricks to add to her routine. She states clearly her needs as she describes all the prior skills training she's acquired isn't useful when she “can't access her mind.” They are baffled, they're calling experts, while they doubt either her true needs being described or her inability to stop the process of “losing it” when she warns them it's happening. It appears there is an assumption of unintelligent thinking instead of accepting and embracing that she understands her disabilities and illness as well as anyone trying to treat it.

One, seemingly angry nurse assigned to my daughter today stated, “she doesn't belong here like a caged animal.” Yet they denied her freedom. They've deemed her requests to leave under the label of incompetent and unable to manage her own care. So she remains trapped and waiting her bed and one-to-one supervising 24-hour aide at the psychiatric ward - excuse me, “Behavioral Health Unit.” And we wonder why she wants to kill herself? SHE is her expert. SHE knows what her treatment plan should be. SHE is not receiving respect nor dignity as she awaits while others, who are baffled by her intelligence, decide her fate.

THIS is a true story of our mental health services in America. And one brokenhearted mom has no fucking clue what to do other than overdue house chores.

Mental Illness doesn't care if you're intelligent, have a learning disability or have a low IQ.

Mental Illness doesn't care if you're white, black, yellow or brown.

Mental Illness doesn't care if you're Jewish, Mormon, Catholic, or Atheist.

Mental Illness doesn't care if you're wealthy, broke, or impoverished.

Mental Illness doesn't care.

We care.

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If you would like to contribute any of volunteer services or gift cards, you may do so by visiting our Amazon Wish List here http://a.co/gOniaVg

If you'd like to contribute funds for volunteers to secure gift cards, please contact us through hello@holdmybeerfoundation.org. Or contribute gift cards directly here by signing up for Raise.com then mail to HMB Foundation, 307 N Mission Road, Fallbrook, CA 92028.

(donation receipts will be provided in accordance with the law for 2019)

If you'd like to offer laundry services, housekeeping, grocery shopping or pet=care services, please contact me through hello@holdmybeerfoundation.org

If you have a specific family currently experiencing a crisis within Southern California that you believe these services or gifts are needed, please let me know right away!

holdmybeerfoundation.org/cryforhelp

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Screw the stigma. Screw the shame. Be Kind.

Let's help Caregivers lives not be disrupted. Help me help them get through Leave of Absences from work, reduced paychecks from lost wages and come home to clean sheets and towels and settled pets while they sit with their loved ones during their 72 hour/14 day holds.